There are so many ways in our society that we avoid being present with ourselves and in our bodies.
First, it is important to look closely at your inherited guilt around problems of sexuality, especially when it comes to lasting longer during sex. Most contemporary belief systems have difficulty with sexuality. It appears pagans and tribal civilizations embrace sexuality more, however rare they are. Parents too often make their children feel guilty about genital touch, which results in private, hidden, and rapid masturbation to a quick climax. Unfortunately this trains the nervous system to respond in kind for the long term.
Parental shaming and religion aren’t the only reasons for conflicted feelings about sex. It also can result from rape, sexual abuse, life trauma, poor relationships, and more.
Ingrained feelings of guilt around sex can result in the inability to be entirely present with one’s body such that it is sensitive to touch, able to arouse rapidly, and to climax as and when one wishes.
The fact that is unfortunate is that modern living conspires against being this present in the body. We seldom turn our awareness inward and feel. We masturbate to visual stimuli or erotica; we play with our iphones to fill empty time. There is less and less inclination to just be still and observe and experience.
If you are inspired to find tips to keep going longer during intercourse, it is important to learn to go inward, and to do so without guilt. With masturbation: The Tantric approach is to take it slowly, breathe into your belly, and be aware of all sensation. If you’re looking for a Tantra or sexuality coach, here is a good place to start: Tantra sexuality coaching
Otherwise, stay tuned to the blogs!